Ava's Birth Mother

We have a semi open relationship with Ava's birth family.  This means we communicate but no personal information is exchanged (last names, addresses, etc.).  We keep in touch via email and she also has access to our family blog so she can peek in whenever she feels comfortable.   We also send regular hard copy pictures and letters to the agency, and they forward to Ava's Birth Mother.  We currently do not have any plans to talk on the phone or have in person visits.  I know some people are very pro open adoption, but right now this is the relationship we are BOTH happy with and comfortable with.  I think that is very important in an adoption.  We really do want to keep in some form of contact so Ava can meet her birth family when she is older.  She also has two siblings we hope she will meet some day.  We have been warned by our social worker that birth mothers go through a wide range of emotions and that they may withdraw at times and that this is normal.  We will respect these times.

I admit I use to be one of those people who thought they wanted the bare minimum contact with the birth mother and then she'd just disappear.  I thought I'd feel threatened by her.  This is just NOT the case.  Only someone who's experienced an adoption can understand the feelings that enter your heart.  I think about our birth mother often, I genuinely care about her, I WANT to share information with her about Ava.  She chose US and trusts US to parent and love her daughter and she deserves to hear and see how her daughter is doing.  She loves her as much as we do.